dave strider. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
knighthooded) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
futuriton2017-06-07 11:15 pm
knighthooded) wrote in futuriton2017-06-07 11:15 pm
dave's a loser
[he'd honestly been looking for where he could find a cardboard box in the house. there's enough useless crap around (or at least useless in his mind) that he's pretty sure combining the contents of a box with another isn't going to be the biggest deal. there'd looked to be one in the back and he'd gotten his way into the closet, the door shutting behind him. no big, right?
the five minutes he'd spent tugging on the handle to realize the damn thing had locked itself said actually buddy, this is big. the prime time.
it's too heavy for him to throw himself against, only going to result in bruises all over his frame and nothing happening to the door. goddammit. why'd this have to happen when he was home alone?
but he doesn't want to suffer in silence until his bro gets home and frees him from this predicament, which will lead to two hours of teasing and probably this fact being held over his head.
he has his phone, of course. that means he can open up the messaging app and begin typing.]
TG: jade are you there
TG: jade
TG: harley please
TG: anyway consider this my last will and testament
TG: the end of the beats that dave strider did drop and would have dropped if not for his untimely end
TG: im locked in the goddamn closet
TG: that's not a metaphor thats literal this is some full on act of a vengeful god for how swift it happened
TG: no time to stop it the doors shut and im in my karmic cage
TG: the dust in here is making me sneeze and theres not even a lightbulb
TG: r kelly made an opera about being in the closet and i understand why he would
TG: theres enough material here to make a new epic
TG: get all soulful about this darkness and the brush of a coat on your back and the floor creaking in b minor
TG: what ghost of christmas past is hiding in these coat pockets
TG: who even made closets that lock isnt the point to be able to get your shit when you want it
TG: yes let me get dressed for the day after pulling out my keyring to find my special closet key
TG: i found a box use it to collect my remains after i meet my demise in here
TG: i dont need a fancy coffin bury me in cardboard with my shades on
TG: theres juice in the fridge and im going to die before i can drink it
TG: drink it in my honor because john sure as hell wont
TG: ill be a cautionary tale and haunt all your closets
TG: you think theres a monster in there? nah
TG: its me using closet ghost powers
TG: wrinkling your clothes and opening the door in the middle of the night
TG: when my battery runs out ill lay down and wait for the end
the five minutes he'd spent tugging on the handle to realize the damn thing had locked itself said actually buddy, this is big. the prime time.
it's too heavy for him to throw himself against, only going to result in bruises all over his frame and nothing happening to the door. goddammit. why'd this have to happen when he was home alone?
but he doesn't want to suffer in silence until his bro gets home and frees him from this predicament, which will lead to two hours of teasing and probably this fact being held over his head.
he has his phone, of course. that means he can open up the messaging app and begin typing.]
TG: jade are you there
TG: jade
TG: harley please
TG: anyway consider this my last will and testament
TG: the end of the beats that dave strider did drop and would have dropped if not for his untimely end
TG: im locked in the goddamn closet
TG: that's not a metaphor thats literal this is some full on act of a vengeful god for how swift it happened
TG: no time to stop it the doors shut and im in my karmic cage
TG: the dust in here is making me sneeze and theres not even a lightbulb
TG: r kelly made an opera about being in the closet and i understand why he would
TG: theres enough material here to make a new epic
TG: get all soulful about this darkness and the brush of a coat on your back and the floor creaking in b minor
TG: what ghost of christmas past is hiding in these coat pockets
TG: who even made closets that lock isnt the point to be able to get your shit when you want it
TG: yes let me get dressed for the day after pulling out my keyring to find my special closet key
TG: i found a box use it to collect my remains after i meet my demise in here
TG: i dont need a fancy coffin bury me in cardboard with my shades on
TG: theres juice in the fridge and im going to die before i can drink it
TG: drink it in my honor because john sure as hell wont
TG: ill be a cautionary tale and haunt all your closets
TG: you think theres a monster in there? nah
TG: its me using closet ghost powers
TG: wrinkling your clothes and opening the door in the middle of the night
TG: when my battery runs out ill lay down and wait for the end